100 ways to kill Voldemort
by Gyoro and Ururun
Summary: Complete crackfic nonsense, out of character, unrealistic, etc. Basically silly one shots of silly ways in Voldemort dies. HIATUS.
1. One

**Author's note: **Hello! I randomly came up with random stupid ideas for ficlets and here they are. It may not necessarily be 100 ways, as I am not sure I could reeeeally make that many, but hey. You never know. I apologise if it's not funny, but I tried.

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction**

**100 ways to kill Voldemort**

**Number One**

Voldemort and Severus Snape stood in the Shrieking Shack; the Second Wizarding War was blazing and Voldemort was not happy with his Death Eater.

"Severus, you disappoint me. You have double-crossed me. You are actually working for _him_, are you not?" Voldemort asked.

"Oh, however did you guess?" Severus asked coolly.

"That is for me to know…" Voldemort said. He brought out his wand. "And for you never to find out. Now you will die."

Severus stood there still.

"_Avada Kedavra!_" Voldemort hissed, but only a puff of smoke came out.

"Looks like you forgot to change its batteries. Here," Severus said coolly, taking Voldemort's wand and putting new batteries in it, before giving it back to him. Only, he gave him the pointed end to hold.

"Thank you, Severus. _Avada Kedavra!_" He shouted.

Voldemort was blown backwards by green light and died.


	2. Two

**Author's note: **Ok! So here's the next...ficlet. Enjoy!

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction**

**100 ways to kill Voldemort**

**Number Two**

The Shrieking Shack was still and silent, even with the two dark-robed figures stood inside it, staring at each other as if they were about to take part in a Wild West Shoot down.

"How could you betray me, Severus?" Voldemort hissed.

"You were the one who betrayed me first. You killed Lily," Severus said.

"She was in the way," Voldemort said.

"A promise is a promise," Severus said.

"Oh, shut up!" Voldemort said. "I will not have this insolence!"

Voldemort brought out his wand and pointed it at him. Just before he could utter the curse, a pair of garden shearers came and cut the wand in half before disappearing out of view.

"Blasted Weasley twins!" Voldemort cursed. He pointed his finger at Severus. "Fine! I don't need a wand! _Avada_-"

"Cut!"

Voldemort looked venomously to the side. "_What?_"

Voldemort then calmed down. "Ah yes, I am supposed to allow Nagini to kill you. Nagini!" Voldemort said.

…

Harry walked in and gave him a note before leaving the room again. "Oh, thank you…..'Hiss hiss hiss, hiss hiss, hiss hiss hiss hiss hiss his.' WHAT? Why the HELL has she decided to go for a COFFEE BREAK when we're in the MIDDLE of something IMPORTANT here? OH MY GOD can NOTHING go RIGHT? First I have people betraying me, then some stupid brat kills me, then I spend FOUR years, FOUR BLOODY YEARS trying to get my BODY back, only to have NO HAIR and a BAD MANICURE! WHEN WILL THIS EEEND?" Voldemort yelled, before clutching his heart and falling on the floor dead.

Harry walked back inside and scratched his head. "Um…that was anti-climactic," he said.


	3. Three

**Author's note: **Hey! Sorry this hasn't been updated in so long, my muse went bad and things have been real hectic. Again, this is a completely daft fanfic, and may or may not be funny.

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction**

**100 ways to kill Voldemort**

**Number Three**

Severus Snape lay on the floor of the Shrieking Shack in a lot of pain, and dying. Harry Potter walked out to go to the Potions Master he had had so much trouble with all his school years and knelt down beside him. He was given some vial with white floaty things in.

"Look…at…me…" The Professor gasped.

Harry did as he was told and Severus Snape looked up into the gree―

"Potter! Why are your eyes suddenly _hazel_!" He hissed. Harry blinked at him and was about to say something when he was interrupted. "Your father's eyes! Haunt me even in death!" Severus Snape had now jumped to his feet, as did Harry.

Voldemort walked in amidst more shouting Severus sent at Harry. "What? How did you _survive?!_" Voldemort shouted.

"Don't interrupt me! _Avada Kedavra!_" Severus shouted, sending green light at Voldemort and killing him, before turning back to Harry, who looked angry.

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL HIM, NOT YOU!" Harry shouted, looking put out.

"Your eyes are green again! MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND, POTTER!" Severus snarled back.


End file.
